humanrobot Justice Clarence Thomas

Having a little trouble at Obama's inauguration? Clarence must've missed his mid-morning nap...

Surely you remember that landmark Citizens United v. FEC ruling in which American corporations were granted human rights, not just humanrobot rights. Justice Clarence Thomas started his path to being a humanrobot as a lawyer for Monsanto (weird…). He then went on to play a key role in the decision to make genetically engineered seeds legal—it’s always nice to be able to help out old friends.

But those aren’t the actions of this humanrobot that we’re here to discuss at this moment. Right now there is dissenting explanations for Thomas’ appearance at a 2008 political retreat for the Federalist Society, a conservative legal group. As The New York Times report points out, questions were first raised last month about his appearance in Palm Springs at this ever so important retreat and Thomas said he had made just a brief drop-by and a short talk.

*As a side note, the Federalist Society is basically a group of concerned million(and even billion)aires that feel threatened by the prominent liberal agenda in law schools and the legal profession. Major players include the Koch brothers; those well-to-do Kansas siblings who were handed Koch Industries from their daddy and have their hands in everything from petroleum to finance, racking in profits of over $100billion in 2009. Their annual gathering in Palm Springs has become quite the place to be seen for those with cash and the conservative agenda to save this country from the socialist Obama. As it says on the Federalist Society’s website, their purpose “entails reordering priorities within the legal system to place a premium on individual liberty, traditional values, and the rule of law.” No wonder Clarence Thomas showed up at this retreat in 2008, corporations need their voices heard!

Okay, okay, but good ol’ Clarence was just there for the refreshments and to give a quick talk. Fair enough; Thomas has had his hand in many conservative legal rulings and giving a pep talk is surely fair. But in his financial report for that year he reported that the Federalist Society had reimbursed him an undisclosed amount for four days of “transportation, meals and accommodations” over the weekend of the retreat. Sounds an awful lot like what should have been reported as a gift under federal law, which would have disqualified ol’ Clarence from the Citizens United v. FEC case because of a vested interest. If you ever needed an example of corruption within the legal system (i.e. people with money influencing a judge to rule in their favor), this is surely one for the ages.

Clarence and Virginia Thomas, preparing to reap the benefits of his United Citizens ruling...

And if that wasn’t enough, Clarence’s wife Ginni seems to be making the most of her husband’s landmark ruling, too. She’s recently landed a job as head of a Tea Party lobbying firm, Liberty Consulting—don’t these names just exude patriotism, “liberty”, “federalist society”? They must be for the greater good of America with names like that (I’d give you a link to Liberty Consulting’s website but for some strange reason it wasn’t loading, see video below)! To clear up the confusion, Liberty Consulting “offers advice for short or long term projects and bringing resources to bear for impact — whether it includes a short term bill-reading project, assistance on congressional oversight efforts or an effective coalition for impact. Additionally, Liberty Consulting offers advice on optimizing political investments for charitable giving in the non-profit world or political causes.”

So not only did humanrobot Justice Clarence Thomas directly gift corporations the ability to rig the outcomes of elections, but he’s also helping pave a new career path for his wife—one in which she can make money off these very corporations by telling them how they should decide who wins these elections. How nice of him.

There is a ray of light though. The group Common Cause is calling for an investigation into humanrobot Justice Clarence Thomas, as well as his colleague humanrobot Justice Scalia (whom he tends to vote nearly the same on all cases with), into whether they should have recused themselves from the Citizens United v. FEC case because of their connections with Koch Industries. Sign the petition here and help overturn a major injustice to the First Amendment.