Bigger salaries for top executives and a petition to the Obama administration to resume drilling in the Gulf of Mexico is how Transocean (the owner of the BP oil rig that caused the greatest environmental disaster the world has seen) is patting itself on the back for it’s “best year in safety performance in our company’s history.” Yes, they are referring to 2010 as the company’s safest year on record despite those 11 dead workers, thousands upon thousands of dead marine life, 4.9 million barrels seeping around the Gulf and it’s shores, etc., etc.

CEO Steve Newman is getting a hefty $200,000 raise this year for his stupendous job last year, along with a $374,062 bonus, as reported in a filing with the SEC. I wasn’t aware that fucking up at your job warrants a six figure raise and bonus. Naive me was always under the assumption that bonuses were for when you did a good job, not a horrible one.

But doing good (or just doing your job well and not fucking things up) and being rewarded for it is not the American way anymore. Look at Wall Street, the banks who took our money, loan agencies, and credit rating agencies who all helped create the greatest collapse our economy has seen since the early 20th century. They fucked things up so bad that the federal government demanded we, the taxpayers, give them hundreds of billions of our dollars just for taking the asinine risks they did.

And then of course there’s those greedy teachers who think they actually have a right to collectively bargain for their benefits, silly teachers. Gov. Scott Walker has surely shown them that they can no longer bankrupt America. And if the hissy fits and stamping of the feet to get their way wins out, Republicans will also make sure that wasteful things like Pell Grants, Planned Parenthood, the EPA’s ability to regulate greenhouse gases, health care reform, and so on won’t bring this country further down into catastrophic deficits. All the while, our defense budgets grow, making sure that we will bring the world down first—whether that be for oil or drowning in whatever little oil is left…