Use this plot in a short story: gets carried away with a new fad.

Airs. Punts. Giant lofts. Coiling rotations. Grabs that lien you back and make your trajectory more difficult for landing. You gotta have them in your repertoire to compete these days.

Big airs like this one from Adam Bennetts have solved the age old dilemma of two surfers coming at each other. Unfortunately Mike Losness looks the fool. Photo by Damea Dorsey

Big airs like this slob-ish human hurdle from Adam Bennetts have solved the age old dilemma of surfing chicken. Unfortunately Mike Losness looks the fool. Photo by Damea Dorsey. CLICK ON THE PHOTO TO SEE THE SEQUENCE.

For all the heights that have been climbed above the lip in recent years, something still has to be said for hugging a wave tight and zipping down it fast. If it ever loses the hacks, the turns, the carves, the gouges, it would kill the style that is surfing’s essence. Skaterboarders cannot say they fit their boards into curves that nature created. The only ones close to that would be snowboarders, but even then the mountain is the same everytime, and in the same spot everytime.

I can’t do airs but I admire their difficulty and think that they are a necessity in surfing. They can be functional, stylish, authoritative, and just plain fun to watch. If I could do them I would, because I try but I can’t and don’t think I’ll ever be able to.

But one air I know I never want to attempt is a superman. First off, the ones that are pulled are not even technically supermans. A superman air entails completely extending ones legs while they are off the board. No one has ever landed one like that on a surfboard (at least that I’ve seen or heard of). Any one’s you see are the result of getting carried away with the desire to be above the lip, no matter if it’s even only inches.

Jordy, stop it with the frog leaps already.

Jordy, stop it with the frog leaps already. This is his apex of this frog leap, too.

Instead of calling them supermans they will hence forth be called frog leaps. They are hideous. They make you look like you cannot do airs—people like myself should be attempting them to make me feel like I could do airs. Jordy Smith, you have landed this masterpiece of a rodeo flip, you should not be attempting frog leaps. If you continue to do so you may just turn into a humanrobot.

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